I recently spoke about this on my YouTube channel and I felt it was worth a mention in my blog too. This article is about two fears which featured often in my mind and so I decided to dig deep with my emotions and put some real effort into understanding them. It would have been easier to push them into a box and close the lid, but in my experience this is a temporary solution, and when they pop out, like a jack in a box, they are bigger, uglier and much more sinister then before. So I dug for gold and positively reframed these 2 fears.
Self-talk can be destructive, our patterns of self-talk are all too often negative – we focus on preconceived ideas that we’re ‘not good enough’ or ‘always a failure’ or ‘can’t do anything right’. However self- talk can be positive and motivational. It’s more about showing yourself some self-compassion and understanding who you are and what you’ve been through.
We all have self-doubt from time to time and I hope by sharing some of mine that it may give you confidence to spend some more time working on developing your positive self-talk.
The first was something that prayed on my mind a lot at first, WOULD I LOSE PART OF MY IDENTITY by leaving steady employment as Head of Training and Development @ Story Contracting. WAS THAT THE ONLY THING I WAS GOOD AT? Setting sail and following a dream was after all a crazy goal, one packed with uncertainty and many personal challenges. WAS I EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO SAIL AWAY FROM THE DOCK?
After all I am not the most experienced sailor and I have a huge fear of the sea. The sea, a place that brings freedom, tranquillity and also the worst that mother nature can offer, rogue wave, squalls and fierce gales, all wrapped together into one unpredictable almighty punch.
On reflection, I realise that this brave move did not diminish my identity but created space for me to build upon it. I am still a focused compassionate achiever, It is just my environment has changed. I can still inspire people to step into the unknown with confidence. I can still coach others to widen their perspective and overcome their challenges.
In fact, I am indeed walking the talk of my coaching career, pushing boundaries and challenging myself with authenticity, everything I wish for others, in their coaching sessions. Everyone deserves the chance to be the best they can be, whoever they are, whatever their desire we are all humans just trying to show up every day a little better than yesterday.
My identity comes from my values not my career, just because I am sailing does not mean I am not hardworking, Sailing as a lifestyle takes grit, determination and 24/7 attention to the big picture and the small stuff. Sometimes I say don’t sweat the small stuff but fine detail on the sea can make a big difference when decision making!
Just because I am sailing does not mean I am not grounded, without being well balanced and sensible I would never survive in this world of sailing. I could go on but you get my point!.
The second Fear that prayed on my mind and often brought me to tears, is somewhat linked to the first, is all about what others think about me, People may think me selfish for pushing off and entering a life of globetrotting and sunsets whilst I have aging parents and children with young families. People are entitled to that opinion but those who know me well, understand that I have never taken the easy route or walked a well-trodden path, as my poor parents know only too well.
I have well established roots and love my family dearly. I Have been brought up to be independent and have never lived in anyone’s pocket. I realise that staying still would be more conventional at this stage in my life, but I want my family to be part of this adventure. I am only a flight away from them and I talk and see them more in this adventure than I ever have. Technology enables us to have wings and share our dreams!
I can’t control what other people think, say or do. I can only control me and how I respond.
This life of a sailor is not the jet setting lifestyle that many may think but one of endurance and constant learning. In my view personal growth is an essential aspect of life and if you want something, only you can make it happen. Better to fail than never have tried at all, I do not want to look back and regret something I didn’t do in my life. I am doing this now as I don’t know what is around the corner, but I do know I am healthy and fit enough to give this damn sailing ambition a blooming good go right here and now!
No risk, No Dream, Right!
Believe me, I have other fears but these 2 were particularly relevant to the No Risk, No Dream concept.
Bye for now x
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